The Gate by Tibor Takács [1987]

Title: The Gate
Director: Tibor Takács
Starring: Stephen Dorff, Christa Denton, Kelly Rowan
Runtime: 85 minutes
Year: 1987

I remember catching the tail end of this when I was 12 or 13. I thought it was amazing then and now... it's still a good laugh.

Starts out with the usual 80's opening of parents leaving for vacation while the kids are left to be on their best behaviour. The older sister, Al, does what's expected and has a party. While her younger brother Glen and his friend Terry open the gate to a world filled with demons in his backyard.

This just might be one of those movies you had to see when you were a kid to enjoy. Or if, like me, you have the sense of humour of a 3rd grader and still laugh at fart jokes- you'll more than likely will find it entertaining as well.

Sometimes the acting is terrible but the heavy metal geekboy more than makes up for it. The demons are naked and more than cheesy, but I think they are cute and kinda want one as a pet. The ending is a little over the top in the 'aww' department and the last demon should of been sent back to the drawning table.

Recommended.


j.

976-EVIL by Robert Englund [1989]

Title: 976-EVIL
Director: Robert Englund
Starring: Robert Picardo, Stephen Geoffreys, Patrick O'Bryan
Runtime: 92 minutes
Year: 1989
Source: Scream Television

When I saw this was directed by Robert Englund [Freddy!] I was pleasantly surprised. I didn't even know he directed anything at all [he's actually working on a new title].

976-EVIL is supposedly the number to a horrorscope hotline that is actually the product of Satan. He uses the line to get regular mortals to do some dirty deeds for him. The two main characters would be cousins Spike [Patrick O'Bryan] and and Hoax [Stephen Geoffreys]. Spike being the bad boy next door and Hoax being your typical pocket protecter nerd. Hoax can never get the girl, accomplish anything or seem to get out of the spotlight of the local bullies- while Spile is the exact opposite. Luckily for Hoax, Spike is a nice guy and saves his ass a few times.

The boys get a number that originally just gives them some creepy fortunes, but soon Hoax discovers it's the line to Satan. Lucky for him, he soon gets some supernatural powers as a result of calling it and use his new strenght to get revenge on all of the bullies that tormented him. The build up, transformation, and story in general are all slow moving.

Unfortuantly, after taking so long to get to the goods, it falls flat in delivering. The ending has no big finale. And when the beginning, middle, and ending have nothing all that noteworthy... no real point in sitting it out.

Not recommended.


j.

Silent Night, Deadly Night 2 by Lee Harry [1987]

Title: Silent Night, Deadly Night 2
Director: Lee Harry
Starring: Eric Freeman, James Newman, Elizabeth Kaitan
Runtime: 88 minutes
Year: 1987
Source: Zip.ca

Since I really enjoyed Silent Night, Deadly Night why not give the sequel a shot? It made for a short movie since you can easily fast forward the majority of the first half of the movie. It's nothing but footage from the first film with little clips of the present movie. Shouldn't it be the opposite?


Once you are about 40 minutes in the movie finally starts and the few kills are done decent enough. It's when it gets to Ricky throwing on the Santa suit and confronting Mother Superior when things peak...? Although, it's a weak one at that. How does he just slash people non-stop, but an 80 year old retired nun who's in a wheelchair and suffered a stoke able to outrun him repeatedly? Oh movies, you continue to defy the laws of the world.

Not recommended.

j.

Silent Night, Deadly Night by Charles E. Sellier Jr. [1984]

Title: Silent Night, Deadly Night
Director: Charles E. Sellier Jr.
Starring: Robert Brian Wilson, Lilyan Chauvin
Runtime: 85 minutes
Year: 1984
Source: Zip.ca

I've never been much of a fan of Christmas, and even more so, never really a fan of Christmas inspired movies. But a while back the Mad Mad Mad Mad Movies blog convienced me to add this little gem to my queue.

In short, this movie ruled.

We start out with Santa Claus killing the cashier at a poor mans Kwik-E-Mart for a measly $31. The North Pole must not pay that much.

We then meet a young boy named Billy getting schooled on all things naughty from his crazy old half-dead grandfather to his way to happy mommy dearest. His family is on a roadtrip for the holidays when his jolly daddy decides to stop to help a stranded Santa. Not so smart, as he put a few in his chest and slit the thoat of his wife. How's that for Happy Holidays?

Billy and his little brother Ricky are left untouched... and without parents. The movie then fast forwards a few years to show the boys living at St. Mary's Orphanage with a few not-so-nice nuns. As the years pass, Billy shows more and more hatred for St. Nick and the whole Christmas time of year. The head nun, Mother Superior, uses her own unconventional forms of punishment to discipline him.

Once Billy grows up he ends up working at a toy shop and surprise, surprise ends up being assigned the role of Santa. And this, my friends, is when the killing spree begins.

I feel like a jackass that I never cared to pick this up before, as it's damn good. The music is extremely present in almost every scene, so many tits with teenage hormones running wild, and the kills are fun too. Let's all hang a body on a set of antlers on the deer head in the livingroom! Woohooo.

Apparently this movie caused tons of controversy when it was first released for having a killer Santa Claus and displaying nuns in a not-so-nice way. I'm sure when the remake gets released, it'll get no flack for those things, with us living in the days of Saw and all that supposed 'torture porn', a killer Santa is no biggie.

I think this is one to show to the young kids during our family get together this Christmas Eve, as we are related, I'm sure they'll adore it.

Highly recommended.

j.

The Howling by Joe Dante [1981]

Title: The Howling
Director: Joe Dante
Starring: Dee Wallace, Patrick Macnee, Belinda Balaski
Runtime: 91 minutes
Year: 1981
Source: AMC/cable

If you want to watch a really rad werewolf transformation then this is for you. If you care to see a werewolf serial killer... then why haven't you seen this yet? The Howling has been on my list of movies to watch for a while, just haven't got around to actually picking it up.

Starts out with an anchorwoman meeting up with a serial killer, only to suffer amnesia afterwards. Her doctor, obviously on the crack pipe, then sends her out to a relaxation resort [that happens to have more than a handful of werewolves calling the place home].

Overall, this is just a really strong werewolf story, with good characters, decent enough effects, and a werewolf sex scene to boot. How could you not love it? The gore level isn't high up there and at times the movie is a bit slow, but really, it all comes together quite well. A few of the supporting actors really need to re-think their mission in life, as acting is obviously not it, but I guess that's why they are supporting and I can't even think of another film they are in?

Don't care to give out anymore details, but go pick this up, even just for the werewovles themselves. Don't tell anyone, but I'm pretty certain they even creeped me out a wee bit.

Recommended.

j.

Night of the Creeps by Fred Dekker [1986]

Title: Night of the Creeps
Director: Fred Dekker
Starring: Christopher Romero, Cynthia Cronenberg
Runtime: 88 minutes
Year: 1986
Source: Rue Morgue's Cinemacabre Night

Now here is a fantastic classic and you need to pick it up, pronto. I saw this at one of the Rue Morgue: Cinemacabre nights and some of the staff decided to come down to Toronto for some Q&A. Good laughs and an around awesome night.

This classic features exploding heads, zombies, an alien invasion, multiple deaths by flame thrower, death by lawnmower, zombie cat and dog... and all on prom night?

What else could you possible ask for?


Highly recommended.

j.