Feast by John Gulager [2005]

Title: Feast
Director: John Gulager
Starring: Balthazar Getty, Henry Rollins, Navi Rawat
Runtime: 95 minutes
Year: 2006
Source: Zip.ca

After the last two not-so-good films, this one just about makes up for it. This came as a result of the Greenlight Project contest and is produced by the always delicious Matt Damon, almost equally adorable Ben Affleck, and usually entertaining Wes Craven. This release is far more superior than their previous attempts with Greenlight.

The movie starts out with quite a few characters at a small bar doing their usual shit-talking and money making. Enough character development is done to make you remember who's who and then a new guy enters the picture. Mr. New Guy is Hero number one and comes in with a ton of bad news. Basically, a crew of monsters are on their way to eating your face. But Mr. Hero is up to the task of kicking ass and saying yours... unfortuantely he is eaten within minutes of getting us caught up to speed. Boo-hoo.

After a bloody attack that pretty much rules, in comes Mrs. Heroine. She's pissed, her husbands laying headless on the floor, her kids somewhere else, and I'm pretty positive she's ruined her manicure too. Before long, the monsters are all up in your face attempting to eat whoever has a heartbeat. The large cast then boards up the place in hopes it'll hold while they try to think of some kind of survival plan.

The comedy level is right on point, with plenty one liners delivered by a fairly entertaining cast. One of my favourite old man crushes, Henry Rollins, plays the role of Coach, a Tim Robbins wannabe/motivational speaker with too much to say, but all the clever ways to say it. Oh Henry, how I love you. This movie is worth the rental fee based on Rollins performance alone.

I'm pretty positive all the horror movie stereotypes acted out were intentional and adds a nice touch. Plus, there's plenty of blood covered clevage, guts, and fight scenes pulled off flawlessly to keep us kids happy.

Recommended.

j.

Fair Haired Child by William Malone [2006]

Title: Fair Haired Child
Director: William Malone
Starring: Lori Petty, Lindsay Pulsipher, Jesse Haddock, William Samples
Runtime: 55 minutes
Year: 2006
Source: Zip.ca

I'm trying to make an honest attempt to finish off the Masters of Horror series. So with that, here's Fair Haired Child.

This little number is directed by the same guy who brought us House on Haunted Hill and Feardotcom. I know, I know... I didn't wanna watch this either as a result. I also was just as puzzled as most of you to see him listed among as the other Masters of Horror.

Now, with that out of the way, this isn't all that terrible.

The film opens up with Tara [Pulsipher] being the outsider at school , despite the fact that she's a above average looking blonde. On her way home she rides her bike into the woods as a shortcut and what follows in quite the neat little scene. A van comes out of nowhere and hits her sending her flying, this was filmed well and looks rad. I was expecting her to sit up with a bone poking out somewhere, but no dice, not so lucky.

She's then stuffed into the back of the van and later wakes up in a hospital room of sorts. After a string of bizarre questions from her nurse [Petty] she comes to realize she's not in a hospital afterall, instead she's in a secluded mansion. Before long her kidnappers have tossed her into the basement where she finds a young boy hanging from a noose.

This is where the film starts to take a turn for the worse. After letting the boy down they sort of bond together over their current situation. He's unable to speak, but the two of them feel out their surroundings to find some clear warnings that the shit is about to hit the fan.

Not to spoil anything but that little monster of sorts [that's on the DVD cover] is pretty neat looking but we don't get too much screen time with him. The flashbacks are more silly than scary, but do provide some background with whats going on.

It's good for it's for an hour long episode, but I wouldn't watch it twice. There's nothing all that memorable about it.

Half-assed recommended.

j.

The Hamiltons by The Butcher Brothers [2006]

Title: The Hamiltons
Director: The Butcher Brothers
Starring: Cory Knauf, Samuel Child, Joseph McKelheer, Mackenzie Firgens
Runtime: 90 minutes
Year: 2006
Source: Generation X Video

The Hamiltons is based around a family of siblings trying to live a normal life minus their recently deceased parents... and dying gals hanging out in the basement. If that's not Brady Bunch then I don't know what is.

The oldest son seems to of taken it upon himself to be the provider and disciplinary, while the middle twins just like to suck each others face off. The youngest, Francis, is the stereotypical angst ridden teenager just trying to find his place in the world--- and distance himself from his family.

During his journey of sorts, he acquires a camcorder and starts recording the random activities of his slightly strange family.

Oh, I failed to mention something. Silly me. The Hamiltons tend to kidnap young girls, drain them of their blood, and use it as their own life source. Talk about further complicating the life of a teenager.

Due to this whole blood thirsty bit, they have to move quite often into new neighbours. New neighbours become new victims, leaving them to have to move yet again... Lovely little cycle, no?

As they've settled into their new neighbourhood, two roadtrip girls are served up as the new victims. By judging by the cover of the DVD you'd expect some fierce torture to take place, except it just doesn't. That is clearly not the angle the directors wanted to take. The horror aspect isn't even really all that present for the majority of the film. That's not a slam against the movie, not even in the slightest, it's just that the cover art is slightly misleading.

I didn't love The Hamiltons, but I didn't hate it, either.

Half-assed recommended.

j.

Stephen King's The Mist by Frank Darabont [2007]

Title: The Mist
Director: Frank Darabont
Starring: Thomas Jane, Marcia Gay Harden, Laurie Holden
Runtime: 127 minutes
Year: 2007
Source: Generation X Video

This is competing with 30 Days of Night as my favourite threater release this year.

I can't possibly be the only movie nerd demanding more monster movies, right? Come on studios- bring them at us, full force. Clearly, The Mist is a prime example just how much they work, and to remind the general public just how much we've been missing out on them lately.

Ladies and gents, we have a winner. There wasn't any disappointment at all, I left the threater completely stoked on what I just saw. The ending is what I'd imagine a kick to the nuts to feel like. The build-up during the full 2 hours was on point and kept you glued to the big screen [which is terrible after downing a large Diet Pepsi and needing to pee like a race horse].

The scare factor is not the monsters outside the shop [as cool as they are], but rather the human monsters on the inside. It's believable to see how as the fear factor increases people both ban together in groups and want to tear each other apart, everyone looking to place the blame on his fellow man. An on-going one-up of sorts. Perfect.

The location of the super market, the cast, extras, dialogue, all of it was just awesome. If this release doesn't reach box office gold, then I'll be truly disappointed in the movie going public. Frank Darabont did a fabulous job bringing the short to it's full potential.

I like how as time goes on people become more and more afraid of the mist, even without knowing for sure if anything is really out there. As the people in the shop break out into their seperate groups, that is when the story builds and the level of horror escalates.

The leader of the overly religious group, Mrs Carmody [Marcia Gay Harden] is my favourite character. She plays up the role to the max with her biblical rantings and warnings of god's wrath. Not only does she believe there is monsters on the outside, she is downright convinced they are sent to get blood to please an angry god. She is truly ten fold scarier than any monster on the outside. Kudos to Harden for playing this character to the max and making it all come off as 100% legit.


Highly recommended.

j.

Bruiser by George A. Romero [2000]

Title: Bruiser
Director: George A. Romero
Starring: Jason Flemyng, Peter Stormare, Leslie Hope
Runtime: 99 minutes
Year: 2000
Source: Generation X Video

For a film that marked the return of Romero after nearly a decade, I sure expected more. I really, really adore Romero and not just for his Dead movies either [see my Martin review] so when finally picking up Bruiser I was expecting quite a bit more.

First, I don't see anything entertaining about this. Nothing at all. Man wakes up with a mask as a face and doesn't dare question this, instead decides to start a slight killing spree? His maid is caught stealing from him, so he kills her on sight? But his recently caught cheating wife doesn't even get a raised voice from him? Nor does his boss that is having the affair of sorts with her?

Prior to being faceless, he's a gutless man without a backbone that lets the world walk all over him, then the minute he loses his identidy he becomes this complete opposite within moments? No questions asked, no lead up, nothing. There's something missing, it's called the middle of the movie.

There is also nothing exciting once things take the slasher turn. The murders are lacking originality, there's no real lead up on the victims leading to zero sympathy, and the main 'Bad Guy' still echoes the same spineless personality from the beginning. I'd like to have something nice to say, but there just isn't. Sorry, Mr. Romero- I still love you. Kiss, kiss.

Not recommended.

j.

May by Lucky McKee [2002]

Title: May
Director: Lucky McKee
Starring: Angela Bettis, Jeremy Sisto, Anna Faris
Runtime: 93 minutes
Year: 2002
Source: Generation X Video

Creepy goth girl, unheathly obsession with dolls, bisexual and a lazy eye? A modern day Juliet, ha. This movie is straight up weird, but weird is good, right?

The beginning comes off kind of weak and rushed. Lazy eye means wearing an eye patch? And then kids hating you? I don't know what school you went too, but wearing an eye eye patch at my elementary school would of likened you with a pirate, and therefore made you the coolest kid ever.

In traditional form, kid gets bullied in grade school, has wonky parents, and grows up demented as can be. May is charming cause she lacks all social skills, you kind of want to take the girl to the salon and let out her inner hot girl. Instead, she ends up taking you to the butcher to crave out a few of your best assets for her new doll collection.

This movie is in every way creepy and once you get past the slow moving beginning the pace finally picks up and a movie worth watching is finally presented. Many try to be different, but this one succeeds flawlessly, May is just strange. The cast did a fabulous job, and Anna Farris is now my favourite annoying lesbian, it was nice to see her outside her token funny girl role.

Recommended.

j.

Blood Car by Alex Orr [2007]

Title: Blood Car
Director: Alex Orr
Starring: Mike Brune, Anna Chlumsky
Runtime: 76 minutes
Year: 2007
Source: Zip


This little story takes place in the future... two weeks from now. We must of managed to blow up a few more oil tankers, since gas prices rise to $40 a gallon. No one but the rich can afford to drive [not to far fetched] but otherwise, life is still fairly simple.

With those oil tankers, we must of blown up all grocery shops and markets, as all thats left food wise is a Vegatable stand [worked by none other than Ms. Anna Chlumsky of My Girl fame] for the vegans and a Meat stand for the rest of the world. Soy lattes or lambchops? Not too much for selection.

Kindergarden teacher, vegan, and all around Mr. Nice Guy, Archie [Brune] decides to make it his mission to find an alternative source of fuel. After plenty of runs to the vegatable stand picking up an endless supply of wheatgrass, hours of experimenting, and a slight careless accident, Archie soon finds a solution to the problem at hand- human blood.

Now this is where the movie gets fun. His small supply of his own blood doesn't last long nor does the corpse of the lady next door, so what is a 'nice boy' trying to cure the plagues of the modern world suppose to do? Take out the trash, of course, with his built in trunk of death.

With all this determination Archie seems to have to keep his car going, you would of guessed it was for the better of his fellow man, right? Deliver food to the hungrey? Bring medicine to the sick? Diapers to the old?...

Not quite.

Archie has fast discovered that having a form of transportation different than his bicycle brings all the ladies to his yard. Soon all the fuel he can find is used to break the speed limit while getting a stream of non-stop sexual favours from the trashy Meat stand counter girl. Oh, poor vegatable stand girl, once again you are passed up for the flesh next door.

While being the only car on the road The Government soon decides to put a tracker on Archie and his wild adventures. With all the cold blooded killing, Archie is sure to get the death penalty... or the noble peace prize.

This movie is non-stop laughs and packed with cheese, sex, and charged up with plenty of political satire. Also, who ever would of thought My Girl's Little Anna would be spending her day dreaming of blow jobs and drawing out explicit cartoons? Her character reminded me just how cute she is, here's to hoping we see more of her in the future.

Highly recommended.

j.

Graveyard Alive: A Zombie Nurse in Love by Elza Kephart [2003]

Title: Graveyard Alive: A Zombie Nurse in Love
Director: Elza Kephart
Starring: Anne Day-Jones, Samantha Slan, Karl Gerhardt
Runtime: 80 minutes
Year: 2003
Source: Generation X Video

As soon as I saw the dvd cover, I knew I had to rent this. For one, the entire film is shot black and white. The story surrounds that of Nurse Patsy, a hopeless romantic having no luck in the dating world and spends her days clutching romance novels and watching the world in love around her.

A new patient comes in one night that strangly enough survived having an axe lodged in his forehead. Nurse Patsy and this mysterious young man who smells like dog shit seemd to hit it off. She appears to just be drawn to him, despite everyone else trying to avoid as much as possible.

One night Nurse Patsey and this young man share a small kiss, one he ends with a slight bit on her bottom lip. Shortly after an all too wise janitor who is smart on all things zombie related kills the young man. Heartbroken, Patsey then morphs into quite the sex kitten on the prowl, as opposed to being distraught over his passing.

Before long Patsey comes to realize she's become a zombie and in order to stop her body from decaying she needs a steady source of fresh flesh. Now call is just pure luck- but she works right above the city morgue, freshly dead corpses for the munching.

This was originally shot to be a silent film and the dialog wasn't added until afterwards, which is occasionally obvious. This release could of been better, too many slow moving parts, but the humour and good scenes make up for it.

I also think these were the cheapest looking zombies out of every movie I've ever scene.

But overall, still worth the rental fee.

Recommended.

j.

Disturbia by D.J Caruso [2007]

Title: Disturbia
Director: D.J. Caruso
Starring: Shia LaBeouf, Sarah Roemer
Runtime: 105 minutes
Year: 2007
Source: Blockbuster

Disturbia is pure thriller for the first two thirds of the film with only a handful of scenes in the last 20 minutes that slide in safely as horror.

I really enjoyed this for the most part, mostly due to the great casting. If anyone other than Shia LaBeouf had played the lead role, I honestly think the film would of tanked out. That kid just brings everything up a knotch.

It's been pointed out repeatedly that Disturbia is a homage to Hitchcocks Rear Window, but I've yet to see Read Window... so eh? I don't know, seems this movie can hold it's own. Who cares if it's lacking a wee bit of originality. I'm quite certain that a large portion of the audience opening weekend didn't know of the Read Window comparison, or even had heard of most of Hitchcocks films.

The movie gets rolling with Kale [LaBeouf] getting into a horrible car accident, with his father as passenger, and he's the only survivor of the two. We are then zipped ahead a year, only to see that Kale is quite the little rebel and attacks one of his teachers. As punishment, the courts place him on house arrest and limit him to the confines of his house and yard. As his mom cuts his Xbox Live and internet connection, he resorts to spying on the neighbours, particularly one that happens to be beautiful and changes with the blinds open. Before long, his attention is then shifted over to that of a suspicious neighbour driving a vehicle that matches the discription of one used in a recent murder.

The pace of the movie just continues to build and ends up being ten fold better than I initially anticipated. I totally slept on seeing this when it first hit threaters, expecting the worst, I've learnt my lesson.

Recommended.

j.

Black Sheep by Jonathan King [2007]

Title: Black Sheep
Director: Jonathan King
Starring: Nathan Meister, Danielle Mason
Runtime: 87 minutes
Year: 2007
Source: Zip.ca

We've seen killer birds, bees, dogs, children, anything and everything. But have we seen killer sheep? I mean ruthless tear-your-thoat-from-your-neck killer sheep? Well I haven't.

Before this arrived in my mailbox, I assumed the worst. Just think, a film about sheep killing worthless humans? Eh. Quite obvious it'd be really good or really bad. Thankfully for my sanity, it's not all that bad. Some moments that acting almost killed me, but as soon as those sheep came into the picture, life ruled again. The effects are done amazingly well [and by the same crew that did the Lord of the Rings trilogy] and slammed with plenty of blood, guts, and ... sheep. There's only a handful of victims, but those that die, sure go out in style. Most of the movie was spent laughing my bum off at the non-stop one liners, the other bit was spent with that squished up face I make when things go to the gore (although to be fair, things never really get frightening). I kind of want to own one of those cute little killer genetically engineered aborted babies. Gross, huh?

The increased amount of horror comedies are more than welcome to keep coming.

Recommended.

j.

Night of the Creeps by Fred Dekker [1986]

Title: Night of the Creeps
Director: Fred Dekker
Starring: Christopher Romero, Cynthia Cronenberg
Runtime: 88 minutes
Year: 1986
Source: Rue Morgue's Cinemacabre Night

Now here is a fantastic classic and you need to pick it up, pronto. I saw this at one of the Rue Morgue: Cinemacabre nights and some of the staff decided to come down to Toronto for some Q&A. Good laughs and an around awesome night.

This classic features exploding heads, zombies, an alien invasion, multiple deaths by flame thrower, death by lawnmower, zombie cat and dog... and all on prom night?

What else could you possible ask for?


Highly recommended.

j.

Fido by Andrew Currie [2006]

Title: Fido
Director: Andrew Currie
Starring: Carrie-Anne Moss, Billy Connolly, K'Sun Ray
Runtime: 91 minutes
Year: 2006
Source: Generation X Video

I love zombies. I love Lassie. Therefore, I love Fido. This movie is completely adorable (does that kill the scary part?) and does a fine job balancing both comedy and the flesh eating undead.

First, I'd like to point out that I'd personally really enjoy having a pet zombie and I have more than a few annoying neighbours I wouldn't mind introducing him too. So please, ladies and gents, if you know of any good zombies in need of a new home, I'm your gal.

This movie is a mesh between Pleasantville and Day of the Dead- but you know that already as every single review possible has pointed out the obvious. The various references to other movies, as well as the fabulous cast seem to make this mesh work extremely well. What's with all the hinted zombie and human love? Not going to lie, I kinda liked it.

Unlike other zombie movies, Fido is more fun than run and for that, I say thanks darlin'! But don't worry, zombie fans, there is still plenty of munching on flesh and the token kill shots. But who doesn't want some fun loving zombie to play catch with, save you from the local bullies, and seduce your mom- uh, what?

This movie ruled. Go pick it up.

Highly recommended.

j.

[Word on the street is that a Friday the 13th remake is confirmed to happen. Yesss.]

Alone With Her by Eric Nicholas [2006]

Title: Alone with Her
Director: Eric Nicholas
Starring: Colin Hanks, Ana Claudia Talancón
Runtime: 78 minutes
Year: 2006
Source: Blockbuster

Now this, ladies and gents, is a little too plausible. All it takes is a creepy dude with some spare time on his hands, surveillance equipment at his disposal and viola! Let the stalking begin. Thank you, Eric Nicholas, for reminding me to close my curtains at night and avoid any conversation with strangers.

The entire film is shot from a POV aspect and the lead character [Doug played by Colin Hanks] could easily be the All-American poster boy for voyeurism. Except he steps out from behind the camera and slides himself into the story. This little number starts out with Doug out and about taping random up skirts, daily interaction, and clevage shots of beautiful women.. I'm sure you have your own little Doug running around town- minus the murder tendencies I hope.

Doug quickly becomes fixated on one young lady, who he spies crying over a recent break-up. That fixation leads to him planting video and audio cameras all over her apartment streaming a live feed right to his multiple monitors. He has her schedule down to a tee and sets up a random, daily meeting of sorts at the local coffee shop. Having some insight [understatement much?] into her daily conversations, movie watching, and music preferences, he slightly has the upper hand in winning her over with their extensive list of common interests. Of cource Dougs blueprint for them to fall for each other and live out a creepy existance doesn't quite go as planned. She starts dating a boy from her place of employment... and a hair brush on her night stand takes care of her sexual needs, apparently. That's when things start to get really interesting.

Recommended.

j.

Jenifer by Dario Argento [2005]

Title: Jenifer [Masters of Horror series]
Director: Dario Argento
Starring: Steven Weber, Carrie Fleming
Runtime: 58 minutes
Year: 2005
Source: Generation X Video

So I clearly know what my halloween costume is going to be next year. Girl is damn creepy looking. She may have a body worthy of Maxim magazine, but she's the true definition of a butterface. Her face resembles something close to what I'm assuming a can of smashed assholes would look like. Poor thing. I'd eat random children for breakfast too if I looked like her.

But hey- she still manages to get a date and apparently gives a killer blowjob, so really, how bad can life be?

The movie opens up when a cop [Weber] stops a random man from killing a seemingly beautiful women with a meat clever. Upon closer inspection he realizes she's got quite the unfortuant face, but it's quite clear from the get go, he'd still do her. Hell, I'm almost positive I would too. Is it terrible that I still find her vaguely attractive? I'm going to hell, right?

Anyways, somehow Mr. CopMan seems to think it a smart idea to bring this creature home with him, you know, out of the goodness of his heart. Not cause he wants a piece or anything, of course not, he's a happily married man and all. Shortly after her moving in, his wife is not so happy with the new addition. Maybe it's cause her tits haven't looked that good in a good 15 years? Eh, who am I too judge?

Of course, the whole family kind of starts to hold some resentment towards Jenifer once they walk in on her eating the family's household kitty cat. Such a shame and messy too! I wouldn't wanna be the one trying to get the intestines out of the tiles. This sends the wife to her bags and hit the high road, rightfully so.

I guess when the cats away the mice will play. Only a few minutes pass after the wife exits the scene when Mr. CopMan decides to let his little hell vixen act out every little fantasy she has. I don't know about you, but I think I'd be a little weary of allowing someone I just saw eating my beloved pet engage in oral sex on me. Seems a little on the DO NOT WANT side of things, no?

Things just keep getting stranger from there- to put it lightly. Jenifer is like the female version of Jeffrey Dahmer playing the lead in the schools production of Romeo & Juliet. Dario Argento wins again!

Highly recommended.

j.

Saw 4 by Darren Lynn Bousman [2007]

Title: Saw 4
Director: Darren Lynn Bousman
Starring: Tobin Bell, Costas Mandylor, Lyriq Bent
Runtime: 95 minutes
Year: 2007
Source: In threaters

Ok, so am I the only one not able to follow the on-going Saw series? The characters from the past films all sort of blend together in this one [with the exception of Donnie Wahlberg, of course - cause I want to hump him].

Saw delivers what Saw is known to deliver. You get all the gore and violence that causes you to peak between your fingers.

And that autopsy scene- priceless. However, I could of easily done without seeing old man balls on the table.

But what else do you get? No idea.

But I'd really like my $7 back.

Not recommended.

j.

Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon by Scott Glosserman [2006]

Title: Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon
Director: Scott Glosserman
Starring: Nathan Baesel
Runtime: 92 minutes
Year: 2006
Source: Generation X Video

Jason, Freddy, Myers. We All Need Someone To Look Up To. The tagline on the dvd cover is what sucked me in. What little horror junkie kid didn't look up to the Top Three? Even if that simply was because they caused you to skimp out on some sleep or to be tucked in extra tight. I can't think of three other characters that have had such a lasting effect on such a large group of movie nerds, myself included.

Behind The Mask starts out with Leslie inviting a documentary crew out with him, to give them exclusive insight into the workings of a future serial killer. Leslie comes with the promise that he will one day rank up at the top of the top with the other greats as a psycho slasher. He's got the sad, daytime tv worthy beginning of a boy abused by his family, then turns all typical bad boy by killing them all. The town then with no need for killers running around, kill him in cold blood. Of course, we soon find out Leslie is not quite Leslie. Leslie is actually nothing but a wannabe. Oh, and don't be mistaken, Leslie is not your friend either.

As much humour and wit this movie tosses at you, it makes the occasional jump back to reminding you this dude is about to go all psycho slasher on your ass. He's planned it all out too, right down to the last detail, he's counted the exits, he's got a back-up to every possiblity, and can all too easily rely on teenage hormones to plan his next step.

There is a nice charm about Leslie, you kinda want to take him out for some ice cream. But with that, I'm sure he'd leave you with the bill then cut out your heart [I've been on worse dates, I'm sure]. If you want to add a light hearted serial killer to your collection, Leslie Vernon is your guy.

Recommended.

j.

30 Days of Night by David Slade [2007]

Title: 30 Days of Night
Director: David Slade
Starring: Josh Hartnett, Melissa George
Runtime: 113 minutes
Year: 2007
Source: In threater

I don't know what made me more excited to see this, the fact that David Slade killed it with Hard Candy or the comic books? Either way, it lived up to the hype.

The vampires really win me over completely and are not what we are use to seeing in stereotypical vampire movies. Who needs romance, anyways? Why should the vampires be a bunch of hopeless romantics, when us humans are so busy out getting divorces. All they want is blood, man. No harm in that right? Unless of course, they stumble upon your town in the dead of winter while having to undergo the joy of no sunlight for 30 days. Sounds like a party, count me in.

Josh Hartnett has a habit of turning me into a little school girl whenever he graces the big screen, so I'll save my excessive gushing over him for another day and outlet. But I must say, even if overlooking his broad shoulders and perfect jawline, this kid can hold his own. It'd be silly of me to say he carried the weight of the movie but he played his character right on point.

If there is to be any standout actor, I'd say it was Danny Huston, his role as Marlow [lead vampire] was crisp as hell. Even with all the high pitched shrieking, these vampires rule. Visually this film wins on all fronts and those arial shots was a lovely cherry on top.

It's refreshing that hollywood didn't take the route of trying to get the humans to play the role of Hero, they simply just played an all or nothing game of hide and seek waiting for sunlight. That's more realistic. I would of liked it if the movie gave more insight to where the vampires came from and how they came to be. Without that direction you start leaving it up to the public to determine what a vampire can or cannot do in a film, based on what they could in the last 100 vampire flicks they saw, so you ended up limiting the characters greatly. But still, easily one of the better vampire movies of the last 15 or so years.

Highly recommended.

j.

Captivity by Roland Joffé [2007]

Title: Captivity
Director: Roland Joffé
Starring: Elisha Cuthbert and Daniel Gillies
Runtime: 96 minutes
Year: 2007
Source: Blockbuster

So this is the prime example of the subgenre 'torture porn' apparently? At least that's what all the big, bad media sites are proclaiming.

I must point out right away that Elisha Cuthbert did a fabulous job here. She played her character to the max, at least as good as it could get considering the content. Something huge was missing from this movie- thrill, horror, suspense, everything actually. This movie only offered some cheap shots and a handful successful attempts to shock. But did you really need to be so predictable? And what did the kidnapper want with Jennifer [Cuthbert]? Why her? What was the lesson to be learned? What's the point of it all? Someone doesn't go through all the fancy footwork on that level without a cause or reasoning, regardless of how demented they are.

Note to Industry: Regardless of your torture ways, you still need some kind of punch.

When the video started, I was expecting something slighlty better than average. Considering how many film critics bitched about this when it was first released to threater [or was that solely directed toward the advertising?] I was expecting something, anything, worth remembering. Instead, this is the exact result I expect if they cast Paris Hilton in Saw 17.

And that twist at the end [last 5 minutes]? What the fuck? Tsk, tsk.
Oh, and the term 'torture porn' is ridiculous.

Not recommended.

j.



[ps. New addition [in the way of puppy!] has made updating tough, I've recently watched a ton of movies, just need to chuck them up here.]