Title: Dark Angel: The Ascent Director: Linda Hassani
Starring: Angela Featherstone, Cristina Stoica, Daniel Markel
Runtime: 81 minutes
Year: 1994
Source: Scream Television
Welcome to quite the strange little gem of a movie.
Basically, Veronica [Featherstone] is a demon living the high life in Hell, all while wanting to walk on the earth above. Her parents, an overly religious mother [?!] and a 9-5 punishment giving father serving Satan. I wonder how they met? MySpace? They seem to compromise by saying grace [?!] prior to munching on the flesh of the damned.
Although forbidden to leave the gates of hell, Veronica finds a passage way that brings her to a downtown district? When she walks the earth her tail, horn, and other demon bargain shop accessories vanish and she's left standing naked. A good looking enough young Doctor happens to be learing out his window and notices her. Right away she's hit by a car [still naked] and the young Doctor Max treats her minor bruises. As he's using his stethoscope to listen to her heart beat, get this, he hears the cries of the damned being punished in hell. How cool is that? I'd offer her a record contract, asap.
Once Veronica wakes up, Max seems to take it upon himself to make sure she is truly ok and offers his bedroom. Within no time they are busy banging by day, and Veronica is out slaying the bad people of their city. Oh, I forgot to mention, when Veronica crossed over she brought her adorable German Sheppard doggie, Hellraiser with her. As she's hunting down the damned, Hellraiser cleans up and enjoys the organs. Veronica is so kind to even bring him home leftovers for the next morning! None of which our not-to-smart doctor can seem to piece together initially.
Once Veronica lets her true self be known, during sex of course when she transforms, Max couldn't seem to care less. He still falls in love with her, how inspiring. The ending is a little Brady Bunch, which just adds to the laughs.
As cheesy as it may be, Dark Angel is fun. I'm not so sure the director was going for the comedy aspect, but it makes the film.
Recommended.
j.
2 comments:
Wahh?!?! This sounds fu*king incredible!! And, that chessy cover....Wow. I'm seeing this one. Is it hard to come by?
I caught it completely by chance on Scream TV. But I can't really imagine it being to hard to find. As cheesy as it is, still worth it. :)
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